Are you in love? Do you ever feel your expectations aren’t get fulfilled? Do you admonish the idea of marriage? Well, if the answer is yes, please read on. Love, relationship, marriage etc. are often considered complex concepts. But are they really that complicated? We live in a fast paced contemporary time, and us, millennials, no more believe in these concepts. Rather, the definition of these things have drastically changed for us over the time. The age-old conventional norms, and customs don’t appeal to us anymore. However, even though the definitions have changed and the approaches have become different – the basic concept remains the same.
Let’s first understand why do we detest the concept of love and marriage per se. What makes us run away from them? To understand this, we have to initially learn the basic difference between love and attachment.
Yes, you read that right! There is a difference between love and attachment, and more often than not we tend to get confused between the two. Attachment is an emotion that makes one vulnerable, and also at the same time creates a want to be in control of the person or the situation. Thus, we get upset if the situation goes against our wish. Whereas, love, in its true sense, is a feeling that makes one blissful from within and there isn’t any want to be in control. You don’t try to put limitations to your partner, rather you let things flow freely. You accept the person the way he or she is, and respect them for that.
In attachment, you expect the other person to make you happy and in love, you want the other person to be happy, no matter what. You don’t expect anything in return.
Clearly attachment is part of any relationship, however there’s a thin line between being concerned, and being overly concerned (can also be termed as being clingy). One should know where to draw the line, as it’s important to maintain a healthy and peaceful relationship. The very nature of attachment is demanding. It demands a lot of attention, love doesn’t! The latter is quite liberating, whereas the former is very restrictive as you also sometimes fear of losing the person or losing control over the situation.
Our generation, by and large, believes in being independent and self sufficient. We thrive hard to be able to be successful in our lives and not being controlled by anyone. In short, we are all very ambitious. Therefore, we rebuke the concept of attachment that demands all our energy, and puts restrictions on us. The same happens in a marriage too, as both the partners tend to take each other for granted, and forget the basic meaning of love. They fall in the trap of sheer attachment, trying to restrict one another. These are some of the reasons, I think, that make us cringe with the mere thought of relationship or marriage. We fear that our independence will get lost in the chaos.
Thus, understanding the basic difference between these two concepts can help solve various issues. Life has never been complicated, we make it difficult for us. To be able to live happily, we should let love into our lives. And, that could be in any form. Love will help us all grow together in a peaceful environment, which is a need of the hour in today’s world! Keep spreading love. Cheers!